How to Get a Guy to Commit
So, you met this man, and he makes you feel all sorts of things. You think you have great chemistry, and everything has been going well for years. Except one thing – he is noncommittal and you are starting to think you may never be able to figure it out: how to get a guy to commit.
Some books about men, written by men, will tell you that the male species, just like women, want to be in a committed relationship, but they don’t want to feel being hooked.
Basically, it just wants to tell you that men don’t want to feel pressured into settling down. But who can wait forever when trying to figure out how to make a guy fall in love with you?
Be careful what you wish for
You can get any man to commit, says every self-help book about the topic. But, I guess, there are men who are just not ready to give up their freedom – no matter how many years you’ve been together.
I’ve dated a man before who blatantly told me right from the get-go that he doesn’t believe in marriage. I should’ve packed my things and left, but what is it about women and their need to “fix” broken men?
The key here is understanding if yours is a hopeless case. Some men just won’t commit to you, and, believe me, no amount of somersaulting in bed can change that.
Your man may also be confused if you’re the right girl for him. That sucks to hear because why would he choose to date you, and stay with you for years if he’s not connecting to you on a deeper level?
Well, some guys do need a little Nudge to get their Act together. And here’s how you help him realize that you’re worth it:
Pique his interest
Always look your best
Show him your World doesn’t revolve around him
Be a supportive Partner
Stop trying to make him commit
1. Pique his interest
The top rule to follow in understanding how to get a guy to commit is to always present yourself as the grand prize, not the consolation prize.
Don’t be someone a man just resorts to because you’re the only one available 24/7 to cater to his needs. Let your uniqueness stand out. Don’t tell him everything about you; don’t give him a rundown of how your daily routine goes. Let him wonder. Wait for him to ask questions, and slowly indulge him.
Women are highly emotional beings, and we tend to share all our feelings, our dreams and fears to our partners. There’s nothing wrong about that. But being an open book doesn’t always work in our favor. It’s all about the mystery; I’m sure you’ve heard that before.
2. Always look your best
Looking your best doesn’t mean looking perfect. It simply means highlighting your assets. Choose clothes that are appropriate to your body type; hair color that matches the color of your eyes; wear makeup that accentuates your facial features and so on. Hygiene is very important, too. I shouldn’t really have to mention that, but there are people who are not so particular with the basics.
3. Show him your World doesn’t revolve around him
When there’s nothing interesting going on with your life, the tendency is to focus on that one person (or thing) who makes your life exciting. A man knows that he is the center of your world because there are no other things to keep you busy, and that doesn’t make him feel valuable. In fact, he will only feel trapped.
Pretending is pathetic. What you need to do is to find the things you enjoy doing and then do them. Even introverted people have certain activities that interest them.
Look for like-minded individuals or hobbyists; join groups that share your interests. It doesn’t just make you an admirable woman who is in control of her life. It will also help you become a well-rounded person.
4. Be a supportive Partner
Always be appreciative of the little things he does for you. It will encourage him to do the right thing. Resolve your conflicts by polite and affectionate talks.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. You’d be surprised to know how many of these little annoyances can easily be ignored if we stop obsessing about them. This is not to say you are not allowed to get angry, but you should always avoid shouting, calling names and finger pointing.
5. Stop trying to make him commit
Our last advice on understanding how to get a guy to commit is to make sure you don’t out-rightly ‘scare’ him away. Many men suffer from actual fear of commitment, also called commitment phobia.
The word marriage is almost always a red flag when used at the early stage of the relationship. We sometimes get too excited meeting a man who is husband-material that we are quick to drop hints of raising kids or having that beautiful house by the beach.
This is sure to freak him out, especially if your relationship is not yet stable.
So, are you going to tell him you’re not the marrying type? No. According to Dr. Ian K. Smith, author of the book – The Truth About Men, “The stealth approach almost always works better than tackling this issue head-on. Coming at it sideways won’t scare your man, and he will be more inclined to participate…”
The stealth approach could be an innocent comment about a certain celebrity’s wedding or a friend’s engagement party you need to attend.
How to get a guy to commit – A short Note on Commitment and honest Relationships
Commitment is not a title. It won’t miraculously make your relationship perfect. Remember that if you are truly compatible with your man, there would be no scheming, plotting or evaluating on your part. Everything will fall into place because you both know what you want in the relationship.
Also read: How to get a Guy to marry You